Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Fan(?) Mail: The Bitter Prude

Yes, yes, yes... Todays blog was supposed to reveal details from my trip to Vancouver. It's mostly written (about 75%). Google Docs, you have to love them. I can write and edit anywhere! Anyway, in between writing, working and lunch, I received an e-mail via the "E-mail Mike" links at the end of each post. After I stopped laughing, called and shared it with Zane, and after he stopped laughing, we decided that it had to be posted. And replied to.

To whoever you are, Mr. Mystery-Former-Marine, I'll respect your privacy by not including your full e-mail address. If you choose to break your silence, you may do so on the comments page; I don't feel comfortable giving your POC information out in a public forum.

That said, I do feel entirely justified in posting, and replying to, your Rhadamanthine missive.

So, here it goes:

****Begin E-mail****

Greetings from Virginia,

It seems to me that you are more than a little jaded. Intelligent yes, but nevertheless...hum? You talk about sex like you are a god....if this is your real pic, I have seen better. Also, your story about the dude who would not leave you alone sucked. It only shows how shallow you are...pitiful. I am a decorated Marine, who is gay, and has respect for others. Why don't you leave the corp and become a prostitute...seems to suit you. By reading what you write, you seem to be penis with a brain...In some of the countries I have visited, you might even be kept as the household whore whenever the master is horny. I am considered desirable by many men, but do not abuse seem to think that the world is your oyster. In fact, I bet you are probably a better bottom than top. You are more than likely the Marine I have always avoided...shit eating grin and not much to show for it. Full of yourself for no reason. There are a lot of good looking guys out there bro....Oh, and then there is life after the probably should consider a career at the local bath house...this seems to be your skill set,,,,,Oh, and by the may actually fall in love with one of these guys..hope they treat you the way you have treated others...peace out, Sempre Fi

Name: The one who called you out
Country: United States

****End E-mail****

I'll address some, where they are actually coherent, of this individual's ramblings. First, I'm jaded. Well. Shit. He figured me out there. I've been shot at, blown up (yes, in actual IED/EFP explosions), dealt with gay drama, and while I live my life to the fullest, I nevertheless view myself as a realist. I'm happy, always greet people on the street or at work, and take the time to help people with doors when their hands are full. I'm a nice guy. Genuinely (shhh, don't tell anyone).

The fact of the matter is, is that nice guys typically don't get shit, either with men or women. Bottoms want a take charge, tell you what the hell is going on, what to do, when to do it, and how kind of top. A man. True, not all of them, but a solid 80% at least. They want the top to be the rock in the relationship, be it a hookup or long-term partnership.

I know what I want: sex. I don't lie, going into things saying I want to explore serious avenues of love and then fuck the dude and leave him. When a guy gets into my bed, he knows the deal. I want ass. Period. Nothing else. If he accepts that and later pushes for more, I fail to see how that makes me a "shallow...pitiful" guy. People must stop convincing themselves, or others, that their desires are, indeed, reality. Got it, interested. I'm not. Move on.

Now, my reader claims to be a decorated Marine, a gay one at that, and holds others in respect. First, anyone in the military who has a pulse and is in for more than 8 months is decorated. I take it he truly meant "retired", which is fine, if slightly disingenuous.

I've been sexually active, as I've stated, for nigh on 13 years now. In those 13 years, I've learned one thing: guys are horrible. Evil, almost. I've never, ever, heard of a gay relationship past 6 years that has been completely monogamous. You can go on craigslist, manhunt,, a bar, the park, wherever gay men congregate, and ALWAYS find guys saying "wife is away, looking for cock", or "boyfriend out of town, breed my hole!". You all know it, and I know it.

Why I am the target for the readers vitriolic smearing simply because I have a lot of sex, apparently he believes I have a future as a prostitute, is beyond me. I am not better, and no worse, than any other gay man out there. So, bucko, get your ass off your god damned high horse and shut the fuck up. Perhaps I talk about it openly, but in the end, that just means I'm a shade more honest than the tens of thousands of other homos who you aren't moralizing at every minute of the day.

Lastly, "if this is your real pic, I have seen seem to think the world is your oyster..." he writes. Let me address that. Am I an Abercrombie model with ripped abs you can grate cheese on? Nope. But, as you can see, I have a decent body, good build, and I am good looking. I don't flaunt it. I don't brag about it. I'm, somewhat, modest but also honest about what I am and what I can therefore go after. I'm not going to pull that false modesty, woman bullshit where someone who is a 10 on a 10 scale demurs that they're really ugly. I don't play that bullshit. So, ass monkey, if you do, more power to you. Glad to hear that there is life after the Corps, perhaps you can go and actually have one issued to you?

Oh, and while 99.99% of Marines are bottoms, a fact I fail to see shame in even if it’s not my personal cup of tea, there is a reason this blog is called TOP Marine. I don’t bottom. Ever.

As always, it's a Pleasure, yes with a capital P, to hear from my readers.

Some Italian details will be up tomorrow

Hoorah (just for you, Mr. Reader)


Send Mike an E-mail


Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you Mike - you're being totally on the up and up with your "stable of bitches" so to speak and they know it's just casual sex and if they don't they need an adjustment to get with the reality of the situation.

If you're clean that you don't want to date, then a response like that that sounds all hurt and whiny is total BS.

Big Dicked Bottom said...

Here I thought all the bottoms were in the Navy! Oh there I go talking about myself again . . .
Great blog. Thanks for enjoyable read.

Kirby said...

Hot fucking blog, man. Keep it up.

Anonymous said...

i dont agree with you mike. its fine for you to go out and fuck who you want and thats fine but it seems to me that you, much like lots of gay men, have empty sex bc you have empty lives. perhaps, you still have to deal with your gay issues. you seem insecure.

Nick said...

Surley you are far more secure with yourself then this reader who has shot you down. At least you know exactly what you want and go and get it. And as for not havin a relationship becoz all men are bastards? I couldnt agree with you more. The vast majority of men act like cunts the vast majority of the time. I just wish I was in the place you are, where you realise that and therefore refuse to get drawn into a relationship, wheras I am still tearing myself up with 'relationships' that go down the pan every few months coz rhe guy starts to piss me off.
anyway luvin the blog.

bikeguy13 said...

Great post. Great blog.

...and you're right that bottoms prefer take charge guys.

And don't let that guy get your ire up. We're only whores if we charge. Me? I'm just a slut.

The Average Joe said...

someone else also told me almost every marine was a bottom. glad to stumble across a top one.

and damn dude you are pretty fucking fly.

SYNRGY said...

New to your blog... have been reading back through your older posts, obviously... this one caught my attention...
What does it matter... You're honest with the people you fuck... but more importantly, your honest with yourself... Leaps and bounds above most gay men... I'm just sayin'...Throwing my two cents in... Anyway...
I like your blog and will add it to my favorites... I've enjoyed reading so far... boned up a time or two as well... ;) Thanks for that.

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